Life is a roller-coaster of emotional well-being. Full of the twists and turns, peaks and drops between happiness and sadness, calm and anxiety, motivation and laziness. There is no set mood on the track, just the waves of states until we reach the end of the ride.
Since I have traveled I have been through the excitement and joy, the adventure and laughter. But this never lasts as long as the working holiday visa does. After the steep rise, the drop. The dip in mood and motivation, the lack of energy and the negative outlooks on life. Today I have hit this sharp turn on the journey and it feels pretty crappy. It isn’t depression or overwhelming anxiety, just a genuine low mood.
It makes me question what I am doing, and how good of a person I am. It makes me question whether I am achieving as much as my peers and the people I engage with on a daily basis. Whether I am or will be as successful as them, the things they are better at than me and the things I am worse at. It is the day when the brain is not interested in the positives I experience, they aren’t important. What I fail at, that is what is being discussed today apparently. Bitterness, jealousy, negative self reflection. You name it, it is there somewhere.
Every mistake is maximised. Every great moment is just an exception. I pride myself on trying to think of the good moments in life and seeing the glass half full, but some days just don’t allow this. I am sure I am not the only one.
As I type this, in the corner of my left eye an incredibly short man is checking in to my hostel. Probably in his 40’s and is no taller than his suitcase. He has a harder life than me. His case will be much heavier than it would be for me, even if I am average build and very athletic. At 6ft, everything is easier than it is for an adult half my size. There is one think I should be grateful for.
Now I have to say, there has been a couple of moments in my recent posts when I have typed ‘as I am typing this’… and they are genuine. I find it difficult to blog in my room and I need to be out there, hence my blogs photography style. I see so many people daily and every now and then, something or someone will come into my line of sight and just fit in with my blog post. I am not one that believes in fate, but I really do appreciate it when it happens. It is moments like this that make me slap myself back into reality and remember that no matter how bad my day is, there are always millions upon millions that have it much worse. People that have it much worse but will have more optimism and motivation than I do right now. Adults that don’t reach the height limit of the rides that they would love to go on, as I may sigh and complain that I am being dragged to a theme park by a loved one.
I will type another post tomorrow on this and the reasons why low mood is a thing, but not a useful thing. Why we should use this negativity to unlock potential and utilise it to become unstoppable. It is possible and is the difference between great success and oh-so common failure.
In a way, I am pleased I can blog about these days, as it reminds me that they occur and always will occur. It is all about riding the wave.