When something makes you tremble

I experienced a very first-world problem roughly four hours ago. That was around midday here for you international readers- and western Australians. I forget that this nation is so big that it isn’t just neighbouring countries that populate different time zones, it is other Aussies. Crazy.

I drove a Porsche today. It needed bringing up from our car park and it was a manual. None of my colleagues could drive manual so I went down to get it, trying to forget it was a Porsche as to keep my nerves in check. Since I have been in Sydney 99% of cars have been automatic, so going back to manual has been a little problematic. I learned to drive fairly recently, so my experience of manual driving is very limited. Constantly driving a much easier automatic car makes manual a much tougher challenge.

As I sat in the drivers seat and started the engine, the seat moved forward, the steering wheel lowered. I felt like I was experiencing my money’s worth, not that I paid a penny towards this beast. That was what worried me. I didn’t pay a penny towards it, yet the condition and fate of the car was in my hands for the next few minutes. Will I stall? Will I sent or scratch it due to overthinking? I would be lying to say my heart didn’t start to race a little. In my head I didn’t want to stall a car that would inevitably catch the gaze of every onlooker walking and driving by. What people like to see more than someone stalling a car is someone stalling a nice car, especially right here just hundreds of meters away from the Opera House, where almost everyone is a tourist.


I must have stalled that fucker ten times.

One car even honked, I’m sure in glee. I kept my cool and realised those passing by would never see me again. This helped me keep my cool and drive to a much higher standard. By the time my colleagues watched me arrive from the car park on the other side of the property, I was steady and in control. A good climax to a terrifying drive.

Lesson learned, I am capable of doing things that freak me out a little. I am capable of driving a great car. I am capable of buying that car, as we all are, if we put our minds to it. Driving that car made me realise what I would love to have one day and doing one thing a day that scares me reminds me that stepping out of that comfort zone will get us there.

Time for a beer.

Featured image: Dan Freeman

Published by

Dealing with Disorder

A website dedicated to Tourette, OCD and co-occurring conditions. Daily updates celebrating neurodiversity.

9 thoughts on “When something makes you tremble”

Leave a reply to Sam Cancel reply