A column provides information on the first arrivals in Australia by Europeans. The Rocks, Sydney.

So I did something very silly the other day. I was at the birthday party of a work colleague at her house, in the garden to be precise. I had a few beers, as expected. There was a huge ice bucket at the bottom of the garden filled with our beers and as I went to get my 5th (maybe 6th?), out slipped my iPhone from my pocket and straight into the bucket. 

It was a big bucket. The few seconds it was in there seemed much longer as I frantically pushed the beers and ice cubes around until I found it. This is much harder at night whilst mildly intoxicated. Into a bowl of rice it went and here I am typing to you on it. Woohoo!

I went to the Apple Store to get the charger port cleaned out, I was told that although it is working the water damage indicators have been set off and it is a matter of time before it shuts down. How marvellous. You would think waterproof phones would be a priority for a company that has successfully launched face recognition and living in a country that is very coastal, it would put my mind at rest if they were.

So I just have to wait. Days? Months? Who knows. I hope to one day live in an age in which we don’t have to wait for the expiry date to hit, whether it is a disease of the human body or the technology we use. It is a weird time for us to exist, a time in which we can diagnose disease and predict how long we have before it takes over without being able to stop it in its tracks. This sucks a lot. So today, I thank the lucky stars that it is my phone going down this path and not me.

I knew there was something I should be grateful about today!