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Are you really in a relationship?

You know that friend, the one that tells a little white lie every now and then about things such as their relationship status? The conversation goes a little like this. For this example, his names John.

Me: Did you watch the game last night? 

John: Na, I was with my girlfriend so had to give it a mi…
Me: Wait, when did you get into a relationship? Great! Who is it?

John: Well, just a girl I got talking to….

Me: Cool, can I see her? What does she do?

John: Na I don’t have a pic, she just works near her home, nothing special. 

Me: Well where does she live? 

John: Erm, a mile or so that way?(Points in a direction that is no help whatsoever) It’s nowhere special you probably haven’t heard of it. Anyways I’m hungry. Are you hungry? Let’s grab food or something.

Me: Right John…


It’s as if John isn’t really in a relationship. Lack of a detailed description or any evidence in general when it would probably be easier to provide at least some proof, most people wouldn’t allow this to slip them by. This is a chat I have all the time with many theists, claiming to have a relationship with God. I am then told instead of questioning, it is my fault that I do not seek the very same relationship. What does God sound like? What does he say? When do you talk? How often? Funnily enough, these questions are never answered or cannot be answered. 

If these questions can’t be answered, it seems the relationship isn’t a close one at all. Either I am being lied to or you need to up your relationship game, big time!


5 replies »

  1. I had a relationship with God. But because I now see it was not real, I am told my relationship was different than theirs. It wasn’t real. I guess that’s how God works– you seek him and feel his presence for years; and for some he is truly there, while for others he holds back and allows them to only think he is there. In both cases, God does not speak or appear…. but I am expected to believe that the current Christian has something I never had. Sure, that makes perfect sense.

    Of course, I am also told that I absolutely can feel the presence of God and know he is real. I simply refuse to accept it. But if that is true, then doesn’t that mean when I was a Christian I probably did have a real relationship with God? I didn’t have a bad experience or become angry with God. I tried to hold onto him with all I had. So why do they insist I became rebellious and now refuse to see him?

    Here the conversation inevitably ends, with a Bible verse. And somehow I manage to not feel any closer to God.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What you have is a unique view point in which you have previously seen it through theistic eyes and realised the apparent ‘relationship’ wasn’t actually there at all. I doubt many theists have been able to see it from such a perspective.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. For many theists, a relationship with God is deeply personal, just like any relationship is. And most relationships are complicated, and so is a theist’s relationship with God. Most theists of any faith struggle at some point or another with doubt. All these factors make this relationship with God inexplicable. The beautiful part about all this is that no one needs to justify their beliefs to you. You might also ask: Why believe at all? Well, theists choose to believe in God, just as you choose to be an atheist. If you would like people to respect your opinions and choices, including your choice to be atheist, you should respect a theist’s choice to believe as well.

    Liked by 1 person

      • In my faith (Hindu), we don’t have a concept of conversion and even believers are expected to question their values. So there is no such thing as being forceful in our attitude towards people of other faiths. However, it is true that Abrahamic religions tend to believe that they are the only ones who are right and the goal of a certain section such as evangelicals explicitly is conversion. That being said, during discussions of faith and spirituality I’ve had with various people, atheists tend to be the most aggressive and downright demeaning towards theists.


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