Existence, fuck me. Crazier than any work of fiction or Hollywood blockbuster. With OCD I find it extremely hard to switch off the why? and how? modes that my brain has had on default from day one. This only sends me further into the unknown and with this I have been getting a lot of anxiety recently. It is as if I’m on a cliff edge looking into the unknown.
When I was young, I watched movies to escape an average looking world, immersing myself into a storyline with no limits and possibilities. Now, I look to escape into a fiction book to escape a more bizarre reality.
I understand why people would believe in a god or creator of this universe. However I am more open to the idea of an advanced alien civilisation starting life on this planet because it makes more sense as to why they haven’t contacted us. They may be watching and observing in an experimental fashion. They may avoid contact because of how trigger happy we are. God, what excuse does he have? An all powerful, all loving God fails to contact our species for what reason? That, I struggle to get my head around. Especially if he ignores the species he expects to listen to him.
Believe in a God by all means. Praise though?
Organised religion creates way more questions than it answers. For this reason I am not open to the worlds main religions as a possible answer. Am I satisfied with a God that created a universe, leaving extremely vague bits of information in an ancient text. Is this all anyone expects from greatness? This shouldn’t satisfy anyone. Television documentaries provide such a more in-depth, informative analysis of the universe we live in, despite some many unanswered questions.
If the Christian or Islamic God indeed exists, it’s as if he wanted to fool us into not believing in him.
This is why I am an atheist, because I do not stop questioning. When I was religious, it wasn’t down to knowledge, it was simply down to a lack of questioning.